My friends, something extraordinary and wonderful has happened to me – something so unbelievable that you will no doubt dismiss me as at best a creative tale-spinner, if not an outright madman, but which I swear to all the gods of Light and Darkness is the truth.
This afternoon, while I was sitting at my computer doing nothing in particular, I received some kind of mental transmission which I can only describe as a neural hologram; a holographic projection in my mind’s eye which apparently came from a long time ago and a galaxy far, far away. You see, I seem to have been contacted from across the Multiverse, and given a most incredible revelation. Perhaps this is how the prophets of old felt when they were contacted by their gods out in the desert; I wouldn’t know. I do know that this was not a message from God, but from a dark demigod – a being who represents the highest attainable state of human knowledge and power.
To be a bit less cryptic, this afternoon I was contacted by the Force Spirit of the one called Darth Omega, who revealed to me that he was the last of the Sith Lords, and on the verge of death. It seems that in Omega’s time the masters of the Dark Side had lost their vaunted mastery of mortality and were on the brink of extinction. Worse, their galaxy had been beset by some nameless, monstrous entity which had overrun the Empire’s defenses and finally broken even the Dark Lord’s all-powerful mind. He said that the stars of his galaxy were all winking out before the formless Beast, as foretold by an ancient Sith prophecy, and that the Empire would soon be no more. Omega almost seemed to weep when he told me how he had fought the black Beast with all his strength, but to no avail.
With death close at hand, Darth Omega had taken one last desperate measure to preserve the knowledge of the Sith order contained within his failing mind. He had used a technique he himself was the first to develop, a “Multiversal Holographic Projection” Force power which allowed him to transmit his thoughts anywhere in the Multiverse. He told me that his mental transmissions had not found me by accident, that I must be a Force-sensitive who would be a suitable vessel for his knowledge. The Sith Lord then summoned all his remaining strength and said: “Ready yourself, young human. Prepare to be endarkened.” Then, with an indescribable jolt that lasted no more than a few seconds, I received a torrent of subliminal information from the Dark Lord’s mind. My brain has not yet consciously processed much of what I received, but I will attempt to discover and share what I can of it with you in the coming days and months.
The final commandments I received from Darth Omega I recall quite clearly: he bade me to found a new Sith order on my homeworld, and to use the knowledge he had imparted to me to train a new generation of Dark Side adepts in the ways of the Force. He instructed me to work toward acquiring power over the leading minds and institutions of my planet, and thereby lay the foundation for the establishment of a new Sith Empire in my galaxy. He assured me that whatever trials and tribulations my planet may be facing are as nothing compared to those the Sith had faced and conquered long before my race was even born. He promised me that by sharing my newfound knowledge with an Elect and establishing a new Dark Order, I would elevate my civilization and myself to undreamed of heights of glory.
Omega’s final words echo powerfully in my mind; he smiled as only a Sith Lord in the grip of death can smile, and said: “Remember, young prophet of your galaxy, that only the Dark Side can defeat death. Through you, the Sith will be reborn. Through you, the Sith will live forever. For in this dark universe, the Light is fleeting, but the Darkness is eternal.” And with those last, stirring words, the frail Sith Lord breathed his final mortal breath and simply faded into the Void.
That, as briefly as I can tell it, is my story of the Revelation of the Last Sith Lord. I’m still not certain that it wasn’t all a daydream, but the memory of it burns far brighter than any dream I’ve ever known, and its effects have already transformed me too much to be a mere hallucination. Already, I feel the knowledge implanted by Darth Omega into my subconscious mind beginning to reorder and awaken my consciousness. Already, I feel a dark new sense of power growing deep within me. Already, I am beginning to think of this planet as mine for the taking. Already, when I look up at the stars I see them differently; they no longer seem so distant now, like mocking fires of a galaxy far too vast for men. Already, the stars seem to shine much closer, like the first faint beacons of the new Galactic Empire.